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Posts Tagged ‘fear’

What happens when you face your fears and let go?

Are you stuck? Are you struggling to get different results in your life and business? Are you holding onto something, someone or somewhere? Does the idea of letting your home, your job, your partner, your family give you a tight, uncomfortable feeling in your chest?

I get it. The younger version of me was willing to travel alone to a strange country, settle there and make a life for herself… Things change. I have so much more to “lose” now, and I’ve become somewhat “risk averse”, a.k.a stuck in my fear of making the changes I need to.

The fact that my husband and kids don’t like change either does not help! It’s like pushing a boulder uphill all by yourself while they either stand there and tell you how ridiculous you are (because anything different to what they know is scary) or stand in your way so you’re balancing the boulder while trying to peer around it to find a way around them and get it up the hill. You have to be pretty committed to do that and that takes energy and A LOT of self-belief.

I have a little personal story for you that I hope will encourage you to reassess what is blocking you, where you need to make some changes and give you the determination to go for it!

Last time I posted we were about to commit to the sale of the apartment we’d lived in for over 20 years… We loved that apartment. Not only was it the kind of place people always commented on as being lovely, but it’s location was just perfect for us. On a personal level my husband and I had our whole history together in that apartment AND our daughter was born there too! We knew and liked the neighbours, the kids schools were close by… so many reasons to keep things the same!

So why did we need to move? We had a huge living room but both my husband and I work from home so our living room was for everything including both our desks! We have a son (age 13 at the time) and a daughter (age 7 at the time) and they were sharing a room and beginning to fight a lot, trying to establish their territory and get some kind of personal space for themselves. We had to move. We were all trapped, we all needed more space…

Ultimately the pain was outweighing the pleasure… So with trepidation and heavy hearts we signed the documents to sell the home that was special to us. There was no going back. We then went searching for a house. We couldn’t find anything in the area we thought we wanted to be and time was getting short before we had to be out of our apartment so we started looking a little further out than we’d originally wanted to. The choices of houses were better but given that it was winter the selection was limited. Eventually we picked one. It didn’t particularly inspire either of us but it ticked our criteria and we made an offer.

Of course there was another buyer! And so, they counter offered, then we counter offered, then they counter offered and so it went… luckily their top offer for the property was less than ours so we got the house. The fact that it was difficult to get may make you think “If it was difficult that was a sign it wasn’t meant to be”, but the fact it was difficult was right for us because during that process we really had to move from “It’s a house that ticks all our boxes even if it isn’t great” to “We want the house!” We had to commit to the house.

Our home - Christmas 2013

Our home – Christmas 2013

 

So we exchanged contracts on the new house  in October and arranged to leave our apartment in Kensington, which we loved, on Friday January 31st to move into this house that didn’t feel like us, in an unknown area in west London. We’d made the commitment theoretically but we were all concerned we’d made a mistake so we continued to enjoy living in our apartment acting as if nothing was going to change, and then it was close to moving date and we suddenly had to take action to move.

An empty apartment...

31st Jan 2014 – An empty apartment…

 

So we exchanged contracts on the new house  in October and arranged to leave our apartment in Kensington, which we loved, on Friday January 31st to move into this house that didn’t feel like us, in an unknown area in west London. We’d made the commitment theoretically but we were all concerned we’d made a mistake so we continued to enjoy living in our apartment acting as if nothing was going to change, and then it was close to moving date and we suddenly had to take action to move.

Before this happened I went to the new house as soon as we had the keys from the agent and met the movers there to supervise what went where. By the end of the day the house was pretty much set up with rugs and major furniture. It was another week before we had TV and internet but after only one night sleeping there it felt like home and it has been ever since.

We are thrilled we moved. We love the space. We love how much personal space we have. We even love having the builders in (they’ve been with us since 4 Feb doing various work that needs doing) as we put our own stamp on the house.

Fear of change. Fear of things not being as good as we have them. That is what keeps us stuck. That is what keeps us in a rut. That is what keeps us trapped. Our circumstances don’t do any of those things. It’s our fear of the unknown that stops us… and yet we finally made a massive change and it turns out, it was absolutely the right thing to do and we couldn’t be happier!

Here’s to you taking a leap of faith and making the changes you need to to get out of any rut or trap you find yourself in!

 


 

Helen Elizabeth Evans, Your Purpose-Driven-Business Mentor, is also the UK’s No. 1 Life Purpose Fingerprint Analyst. She has appeared on Channel 5 TV and been featured The Daily MirrorWomen magazineSpirit & Destiny magazine and Soul & Spirit magazine. She has 17 years experience running her own businesses and now uses that experience and non-predictive life purpose fingerprint analysis, to help her clients create businesses that are not only completely aligned with their life purpose but also make a difference in the world AND earn them a sustainable income.

You can find out more here: www.stepintoyourlight.com or contact Helen direct at info@stepintoyourlight.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you hiding out?

It feels so nice and safe to hide out… I love it! At least I think IRotten tomatoes? do… hmmm….? Do you hide out? Keep a low profile? Careful not to raise your head above any line that may make you stand out in some way? Truly amazing how desperate we all are to be approved of, to be liked, to fit in. And yet… there is a cry deep within our souls that asks so much more of us. It can feel anything like a vague sense of discomfort, a niggle, all the way to feeling physically trapped, powerless, desperate. What does it feel like for you?

There are so many reasons that each and everyone of us hide out.  A common one is what Richard Unger calls “tomato fear”, in other words fear of people throwing tomatoes at us, which is fundamentally the same as being criticised or rejected.  The idea of being rejected… aaahhhh!!! Too painful for words… but I’m developing strategies for coping with that!

Recent research shows that we naturally tend to look to  the negative in any given situation because it is a primal instinct. We naturally feel safe with people who are pro us and so we can feel safe enough to ignore them, but the moment we sense something other than positive vibes towards us, the primitive part of our brain goes on high alert – danger! So we are wired to keep ourselves safe, and the best way to do that is not to get noticed, to avoid any form of confrontation.

We have this primitive part of ourselves and a higher self, a soul calling us forth to fulfil our life purposes, and they are pulling in opposite directions. Part of our purpose is to become conscious of the things we do on autopilot. Autopilot tends to be our primitive self controlling our actions, but once we become conscious of what we are doing and why we are doing it we can change our behaviour and the results we get.

So take your first step into your light and think about what you are doing… Are you allowing yourself to feel your emotions, even the ucky ones or are you burying them inside yourself pretending you don’t feel anything? Are you keeping what you think to yourself in fear of being criticised or mocked? Are you avoiding taking any action in case it’s the “wrong” action or are you scared that taking one path will prevent you trying another so it is easier just to stay still? Are you sacrificing what you want just to keep the peace? Are you taking care of everyone else and forgetting about yourself?

Your first step is simply to notice what you are doing… and DO NOT beat yourself up about it.  We all do it.  We all have to start by noticing what we’re doing and then in our own time, in baby steps, take a few chances and act in a way that is more true to who we really are.

It is our collective purpose to experience as much as we can, do everything we do with love and live our life purposes. It seems to be humanity’s purpose to develop self-esteem, to learn to value ourselves for who we really are, and the individuality of those around us. On top of that each one of us has an individual purpose that we are being led toward throughout our lives.  Still don’t know what your purpose is? Don’t worry, you’re not unusual.  There are ways to discover it…  I personally love the simple, easy map lying in your hands but there are other ways too.

Purpose hint:

if you are avoiding doing something as hard as you can (hiding out) then in all likelihood the thing you’re avoiding is part of your life purpose.  Our life purposes calls us to get out of our comfort zones, to have new experiences, personally and out in the world, to live!

This article is as much for me as it is for you.  Fear of failure has held me hostage for so many years.  I am so fed up with it that I am taking, and have taken, steps to move into the life

I really want.  This blog is part of my way of stepping into my light.

I’d really love to hear about what keeps you in hiding, what holds you back, what you fear, or simply your experiences of trying to come out of hiding and how they felt…

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Helen Evans is a non-predictive life purpose hand analyst and purposeful space designer.   Her passion is to empower individuals to fulfil their dreams, entrepreneurial, spiritual and personal… to be paid for what they love to do, to live and work in spaces that make them feel good and to take care of themselves and their well-being.  She uses the pragmatism of her African upbringing and the deep intuition of her Celtic roots to guide her clients into the lives they really want.

If you’d like to know more about stepping out of your cave and into your light, please visit

www.stepintoyourlight.com
or
contact Helen direct at
info@stepintoyourlight.com.

 

To discover your soul’s blueprint for building your purpose inspired life, ask for a hand analysis reading!

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