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Last week was a big birthday week for me and my family. My mother, my daughter and I celebrate our birthdays 4 days apart… my mother all but dismisses her birthday, mine is between my mother’s and my daughter’s so it tends to get forgotten until the last minute as I’m so busy trying to prepare for my 4 year old’s party. Talking to many people around me this seems so typical… we celebrate ourselves less and less as we get older. Why? Surely we should be celebrating ourselves more and more?

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could celebrate who we are and those around us everyday.  But lets be realistic! Life is busy and for most of us that’s not going to happen as much as we may like it to, so the next best thing is to take time out at special times of the year to celebrate who we are, where we’ve been, where we are, our capacity to love and be loved.

I’m trying to figure out why I ignore my birthday… I can tell you I don’t want to. I want to be made to feel special. I want to be shown how much people value me and care about me.  And anyway its a good excuse for a party!  Honestly, if I really think about it I realise I am so tired of being disappointed and it is just easier (less painful) not to expect. Oh my goodness, is that really how I feel? Is that what happens to all of us as we get older? My mother says “Oh, don’t make a fuss. I don’t want to be a bother.” What? The woman gave me life and then put her life aside for years to bring me up, surely the least she should expect is to have me “bother” on her birthday! My husband always says “I don’t need anything. It’s not a big deal.” But when I do make a “fuss” he is pleased as punch. Of course, he still says “You shouldn’t have. It wasn’t necessary.”

We make such a fuss of our children’s birthdays, celebrating with family, friends, gifts, food and activities. We celebrate the mark of time and the achievements that come with it.  Each of my children are so proud to be individually celebrated.  It is great for their self-esteem.

So why is it we think that as we get older we need to be celebrated less and less?  Is it because we are not taught to celebrate ourselves?  I certainly never was.  Most of the people I know never were. We seem to focus so much on what we’ve not achieved or what we did wrong than we ever do on what we did well or what we simply “got through” (often an achievement in itself!) The thing is I’m at that age where I’d have to organise it myself and I’m just too tired taking care of everyone else to have the time or energy to arrange anything for me. My solution? I told my husband I wanted him to take me out for a nice grown up lunch, which is what he did and I loved it.  I made the mistake of not telling him I’d also like a gift or two from the kids at least, so I got a bunch of flowers from our kids.  Very nice but it was a 5 minute walk to the supermarket to pick them up!  I loved the flowers and the way the kids presented them to me.  That’s not my point, the point is that one day a year I’d like my family to take some time out to think about me and what I might like, not what they’d like nor what is convenient to them.

I publish this so that you know “I know how you feel!” for those of you out there who are equally poor at setting appropriate “boundaries” with our loved ones. I am responsible for allowing the people around me to celebrate me so lightly. I need to set the ground rules for what I want and need in my life.  Please do the same!

You deserve to be celebrated, by your loved ones but most especially by yourself! If you don’t value the incredible contribution you make to your own life, to your family, to your fiends, to your colleagues and in your life in general then it is so much harder for them to appreciate you too…  PLUS Fun is good for you. People showering you with attention is good for you.  You recognising, at least one day a year, just how much you have survived, how much you have achieved and how much more you have to give and do is VERY good for you!

A very big, squishy hug from me to you!

Happy Birthday,

my soul journey friend. xxx



Helen Evans is a non-predictive life purpose hand analyst and purposeful space designer.   Her passion is to empower individuals to fulfil their dreams, entrepreneurial, spiritual and personal… to be paid for what they love to do, to live and work in spaces that make them feel good and to take care of themselves and their well-being.  She uses the pragmatism of her African upbringing and the deep intuition of her Celtic roots to guide her clients into the lives they really want.

If you’d like to know more about stepping out of your cave and into your light,please visit
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